Earlier this week, @timsterne observed on twitter that you can’t be much of a “music snob” if you listen to JJJ. But all we need for snobbery is someone else to look down upon, and thus do snobs arrange themselves into tidy hierarchies. Feel free to condescend to my no doubt dated choice of Coldplay as a reference point.
Only heard about Coldplay because their agent landed them a contract to produce their next single
Makes sound art from old Coldplay CDs they retrieve from landfill and step on
Doesn’t like Coldplay but can tell you how big the advance was for each of their albums
|The Scottish Rite||6||“The Dandy Highwayman”
Likes Coldplay, detests Radiohead, and can back this position up with well-reasoned arguments about “pop purity” etc.
Takes care never to be found in a social situation in which Coldplay are mentioned or played
|4||“The Secret Sharer”
Can appreciates Coldplay as a clever ingredient, for eg a mashup of “Talk” with Kraftwerk’s “Computer Love”
|The Entered Apprentice||3||“Antidepressants and Wine”
Dumped, or, more accurately, contemplated dumping, a hot partner because they liked Coldplay
|2||“Rock Snob 101”
Dumped, or, more accurately, contemplated dumping a partner because they liked Coldplay
Loves Radiohead, detests Coldplay and will tell you all about it.
Only likes Coldplay’s first album but never really listens to it
|-2||“Not in the Game”
Only heard about Coldplay because Gwyneth married that guy