In which your author tries his hand at Kipling

My response to Pete’s latest rhyme challenge, ‘oblige’: an excerpt from Liberal Guilt, music by Andrew Lloyd Weber, lyrics by Clive James, book by Martin Amis. The show is a wickedly barbed satire on the depraved, hypocritical morality of middle-class types who read the Guardian and adore Clive James and Martin Amis.

The following verse is from the Senior Detective’s lament as he picks through a crime scene. Crusading left-wing journalist Frank Beard’s house has been broken into and his teenage daughter apparently abducted:

“Brutal,” they cry, “jingoistic,” they yelp,
But we’re always obliging and ready to help
When their lives have been shattered by villainous men –
Well, we don’t hear no chatter of politics then!

If asked “Do you like Kipling” I am now bound to answer “Actually, yes. I like to Kiple on the bus to work.”


One response to “In which your author tries his hand at Kipling

  1. I hear that Clive has had all his lyrics written out of the show, in return for 1% of the gross, and an agreement that he never speak of the matter.

    Typically, Martin has now decided that he can do the lyrics himself.

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