Romeo and Juliet

Shakespeare: the funny bits

Presenting CAPULET, father to JULIET, also a DICK.

Cap. Welcome, gentlemen! ladies that have their toes
Unplagued with corns will have a bout with you.
Ah ha, my mistresses! which of you all
Will now deny to dance? she that makes dainty,
She, I’ll swear, hath corns; am I come near ye now?

Richard III is a bogeyman from an old tapestry when compared to the chilling realism of Capulet. He’s the stuff of nightmares even before he tries to marry off his daughter four days after her cousin was murdered and then has the cheek to act as if this will cheer her up. We’ve all encountered this kind of Dad in all his ghastly heartiness. I bet he used to do that ‘pull my finger’ thing too.

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