On Tuesday I renewed my gym membership for the second time, which makes it a year since I started.

Most of my younger selves would sneer at me for this, or they would if they weren’t scared that my current self could pick them up and bench press them or something. Well, I couldn’t, because I’m nowhere near that strong, and they were too fat. But don’t let on.

Other health-and-fitness milestones coming up:

In October, I will have been a non-smoker for four years.

Next week, the gym will play that horrible new Madonna song, the one where she wants us to give it to her, for the 1,000,000th time. This will retrospectively erase every positive opinion I have ever had about her. Except that I’ll probably still like ‘Ray of Light’. I hope.


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